Do I really want to go forward for a half marathon?
What happened to my motivation?
Am I able to commit to this training?
I can answer all those questions with an observational evaluation - I'm Pathetic. I know.
I started with such enthusiasm- talk about a total fizzling out! I promised you in the sub-title this is a journey of an over-40 runner~!
So let me tell you how I got to this SLUMP!
Several weeks ago I was in my stride for training when I hit a major challenge. My schedule changed dramatically. School was out so there was no official morning grind, with both kids home along with my husband, our home fell into a real lax attitude, with all excuses aside I admit I fell right in with it. Late nights, late mornings, erratic diet and I let my training schedule go. My well-guarded, tunneled-vision hour for morning running became a free-for-all and I lost my focus completely. With my inability to deal with distraction, I did a lot of ab and arm training at home to replace my running and ALAS- the running habit left me. Though I was glad I committed to working on my abs for the cruise, I had traded out and when I got home I had no focus or DESIRE to run.
I spent one full week after the cruise doing NOTHING. Then yesterday it hit me. I looked around my house steeped in mid-summer disorganization, looked ahead at the 131 days left before the race and made a decision to get my schedule, organization and MY morning run BACK.
Then I wrestled with the idea that perhaps I'm not up to this kind of race. I mean, what the point? Why run a half-marathon? Who cares? Any sense of reason and motive was so faded I couldn't conjure up why I had even endeavored to do it in the first place. The need for a goal, a need of accomplishment, a challenge...what was it? Perhaps I still had the high from my Tri accomplishment - a few endorphins left edging me on. So with just shadows of desire left - I'm making a head decision to go with what I first decided because of one reason- I'm not a quitter. I publicized that I was going to - and now I'm held to it. If that is the only reason I run a half-marathon, then its enough. Finish what you started, do what you said you were gonna do and cross the finish line!
I am 131 days out from the race giving me a good 18 weeks to train. This is several weeks over the proven training plan for a half marathon. But NOW is the time to commit, focus and settle in my mind to hit the running trails again. At this point a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do- so I'm declaring martial law in the house and in my personal training.
This morning I swore off "visitors" on my run and went by myself to see what my body would do after its long hibernation. I was pleased to hit my 10 minute mile but sruggled to finish two. I have some make up work to do.
SO HERE IS MY WISDOM TO ALL -IF ANY- READERS ARE LISTENING. You run- you fall- you get up - you run again. Pretty simple.
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